Wake Up Would You?

Sarah has been asleep in her carseat for over 2 hours and I don't know what to do with myself...I have put her laundry away, folded Richard and my laundry, straightened the house, cleaned up the dishes from our picnic with daddy, had a friend come over and visit for an hour, responded to overdue emails, begun preparing my Sunday School Lesson, stared at my cute baby over and over, and now I am beginning to pace the floor. With what you ask? Boredom and loneliness. I guess I have grown quite accustomed to that sweet little love always being in my arms. I miss her sweet little smile, her big blue eyes, and her infectious coos and it's only been 2 hours. Oh, what WILL I do when she no longer wants mommy to hold her or when she's grown up and gone? For now I AM going to cherish my special moments with her.

Happy Valentines Day

"One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you."--Dr. Seuss

Tell them to obey

My family, well 2/3 of my family has 72 hour kits. Richard and I each have a backpack in the trunk of our cars as well as in the house in a closet relatively close to both the front and back doors. Our emergency backpacks have sewing kits, first aid materials, sharpies, flashlights, and toiletry items. That’s it! At one time (last year) we did have our kits filled with all of the essential items. The problem is that we never refilled them after we decided to rotate all of the items on a long car camping trip last summer. We have had wonderful intentions, just no follow through.

Last night at Enrichment we had a lesson about 72 hour kits and being prepared. We were challenged to live on our kits for 72 hours and see how we would fare. Sister Cloud said she would take the challenge with us if we were willing. Well, she would survive from the looks of her kit, however, my family wouldn’t get very far, especially with the lack of food and water we have; the most important items! We are told in the Doctrine and Covenants that if we are prepared we will not fear. I fear, and after seeing other peoples kits I know why. My family is not prepared.

We have been instructed for decades to prepare for things to come. The conference talks and Ensign Articles have become less scarce and we have not been counseled as much lately on the topic and I think it is because it is now up to us to follow the instructions we have already been given over and over and over again.

Yesterday was the day that Sister Cloud spends in the temple. She said that while she was there she was prayerful as to what the Lord would have her tell us about being prepared for things to come. She said that as she listened to the spirit, she was told to, “Tell them to obey.” The moment she said those 4 simple, little words, the spirit moved me and I knew that the Lord was talking to me.

He wants us prepared. He has warned us and now he wants to see if we are prepared enough to obey. Gordon B. Hinckley has said, “We can so live that we can call upon the Lord for His protection and guidance. … We cannot expect His help if we are unwilling to keep His commandments.” And so, I for one intend to pull my backpacks out, assess our situation, and work to follow His counsel. Soon, very soon my entire family will have 72 hour kits that could be lived on if necessary.

Attitude Adjustment

I’ve have had an epiphany…it’s me; I’m the one struggling, not Sarah Jane. Because of this revelation, I now vow to stop complaining when Sarah cries and has her difficult days and to relish in the things that she is doing that bring me such joy; and there are so many things she does that bring this mama JOY!!! I think if I put this kind of attitude out there, then I will bring more good things my way.

This past week as I looked at Lisa’s blog she had written a great week in review. Her blog always lightens my days and brings a smile to my face. This particular week in review was full of one thing after another that had gone wrong during her family’s week and yet, it ended on a very positive, uplifting note.

Lisa didn’t post these bummer events so that we would feel bad for her but probably so that she would remember these events that would appear funny and memorable later on. For me the most amazing part about this, the part I learned a lesson from, is that Lisa and I talk a lot on the phone and I hadn’t heard about a single thing that she had written about. In contrast however, if you were to ask Lisa how many negative things I had said during our phone conversations that week she wouldn’t be able to list them all. Why have I chosen to forget all the positive things that are taking place and talk only about the negative?

Last night my girlfriends had a dinner so that they could all hang out with Sarah and me (mostly Sarah, I was just an extra). Miriam emailed me earlier in the day to see if she could use my washer as well as to say she was excited to see the baby. I told Moh that I hoped Sarah would be good that evening. Lately she’s not very good at night and I didn’t want her to just scream all night long. Moh countered with the fact that she has always seen Sarah Jane at night and that every time she’s been good. And good she was. She was adorable!! Why, oh why can’t I have the optimistic outlook regarding my daughter that my dear friend has?!

Today’s the day…optimism is my new favorite character trait!

I have realized that I had just a small, very tiny, idea of what my new role as mommy would be like. I had no idea just how much work it would be and just how not in charge of my life I would be.

Prior to babys arrival, I thought I would still be able to workout, do laundry, clean the house, grocery shop, email, cook dinner, use the restroom, etc, etc, etc. How wrong I was. I have to change my attitude and realize that I have to be okay with leaving the housework and anything until the weekend when Richard is home to help with baby. I have to be okay with the notion that I might not always get a workout in and I need to be okay with having to call Richard and ask him to bring something, more specifically anything home for dinner. I need to be okay with the notion that all I might get done each day, is squeezing my baby girl and letting her know just how much I love her. Sarah is already almost 3 months old and I can’t believe that. If time continues as quickly as it has gone already, then she’ll be 18 tomorrow. And so now with this new optimistic outlook I am more than okay just holding my little girl all day if that’s what she needs, having her smile at me, and discovering new things together!! I feel so much better already.